Grandparents and Gay Children

Regardless of that reason – it is clear that grandparents have MUCH to offer the LGBT members of their families.

Often the greatest challenge facing GLBT Youth is that of acceptance from those they love. Knowing that they are free to express themselves openly without being treated differently; knowing that they will feel the same love and understanding that they felt before they revealed their sexual orientation, can make an immeasurable difference in how they move forward in their lives.

When a young person “Comes Out” as gay, parents often find it difficult to separate their own needs from that of the child. To expect parents to ignore their investment of time, energy and the hopes they hold for that child, is impractical. Parents often feel that they’ve failed. They place blame on their methods of parenting instead of recognizing that one is not “turned” gay, in fact they just are what they’ve always been. Grandparents on the other hand… more often are capable of providing the unconditional support and love that someone who “comes out” needs. Because grandparents have not invested as directly in the child’s upbringing, they tend to be able to see a clearer image of what best supports the child.

When a child comes out as gay or lesbian, it is the support and love for “who they are” which they need most. The same unconditional love that they have grown to rely on from their parents can become threatened. This is the time when Grandparents become a valuable resource. Not only to “be there” for the grandchild, but also to remind their own children that acceptance and support is more valuable than ever.

When a child knows that there is someone they care about, who will not judge them, but be there with a shoulder to cry on, or a warm hug that never tires – it can profoundly change the future of that child. With more than 30% of teen suicide being related to sexual orientation, the need for acceptance and understanding has never been more urgent or real.

(Mr) Stacy D. Green
President: PFLAG Canada

PFLAG Canada is a registered Canadian charity, which seeks to foster equality and acceptance for Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered and questioning individuals across Canada. PFLAG Canada sees FAMILY as the primary foundation on which a happy healthy Canada continues to rely and enjoy.