Caregiver’s Diary: Lessons Learned

I have been chronicling the deaths of my mother, my father-in-law and my father for the last 2 years. I have learned some things about death during that time, and it’s appropriate that I share them here. My wife will share her insights, which are different from mine, in the next chapter. Dying Is Hard […]

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Caregiver’s Diary: The Good Memories

Stories and memories of my widowed 89-year-old father started pouring in by e-mail and phone the day after he died, prompted by a posting on Facebook of a lovely picture of him in his last weeks, still smiling and still hale. Many of the messages had the same theme: dad was gregarious, welcoming, always up […]

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Caregiver’s Diary: A Very Difficult Conversation

An e-mail from youngest sister late at night to youngest brother and me. Our 89 year old widowed father had fallen again; presented himself to the night nurse covered in blood, then denied it had happened the next day. Could we do a conference call in half an hour? Things needed deciding. Serenity Towers had […]

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Caregiver’s Diary: Patience

I’m not my 89 year old widowed father’s caregiver, I’m just an occasional visitor, and a voice at the end of the phone. Youngest sister is his caregiver, and she sees him frequently and, until recently, took him out for lunch. What she has in abundance is patience, and it’s something I don’t have a […]

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Caregiver’s Diary: Dad’s War

Dad’s War My 89 year old widowed father was studying organ at the Royal Conservatory in Toronto when the war broke out. He enlisted as soon as he could. He was 6 feet 4 inches tall and weighed 130 pounds, scarcely the stuff of either bomber crew or front line infantry. Nonetheless, all were welcome, […]

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Caregiver’s Diary: Dying In Good Health

My widowed 89 year old father called the other day. Youngest sister was coming over for lunch, he was dressed. I said “You sound chipper today, you must be feeling pretty good”. He said “Oh, I’m alright, but I just wish I weren’t on this earth anymore. It’s such a chore. Everything takes so long, […]

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