For those who have adult children at home, Benincasa suggests identifying ways they can help and setting up a “contract” so there is an understanding of what their responsibilities are.
“Boomers want to take care of their kids, but they have to say ‘I know you’re going through a hard time right now, but I need your help caring for Grandma,'” says Benincasa.
She suggests looking into support from social services to help with eldercare, and advocates — if feasible — putting an increasingly dependent parent into a nursing home.
“It’s overwhelming when you’re trying to maintain mom and dad in their own home — you’re taking them to appointments, you’re making sure they’re eating, you’re making sure their home is maintained,” Benincasa says.
She says delegating duties to friends and family members and finding respite care is important so caregivers can have time for themselves.
“The better you plan and the more proactive you are, you will find you’ll get a lot of relief that way,” she says.
An important part of planning ahead is making sure certain legal documents are in order, according to Carol Abaya, founder of the website sandwichgeneration.com.
She advises aging parents set up a continuing power of attorney to allow an adult child to make financial decisions on their behalf, as well as a personal-care power of attorney for future medical decisions.
“Without them, elderly people are setting their children up for major problems,” says Abaya, pointing out that if an adult child caregiver has no continuing power of attorney, they will be unable to pay their parent’s bills.
While there are ways for the sandwich generation to find help, some say there’s a long way to go before adequate support systems are in place to ease ever-increasing obligations.
“There needs to be some form of workplace protection, so caregivers don’t lose their jobs while looking after a loved one,” says Susan Eng, vice-president of advocacy for CARP, an advocacy group for older Canadians.
Eng says there should be medical training for caregivers and more respite-care options.
Despite the stresses that come with caring for two generations, Eng says there is a positive side.
“It’s a good model for how our society can work. It builds family cohesion, and it comes from a sense of duty and also out of love,” Eng says.
Keywords: seniors, demographics, caregivers
