A Second Chance at Love

Peace Arch News column: April 2011

“It is your soul that I want!”

The plaintive words of Edward Fairfax Rochester to the somewhat recalcitrant, plain Jane Eyre as he pleads to her to complete his existence within the holy bonds of matrimony. Trouble is…dear Mr. Rochester is already married. A minor glitch in this timeless Charlotte Bronte classic which gives voice to true love full of passion and moral fortitude and selflessness.

Ah… the power of love.

As I sit alone in the expansive movie theatre munching my overpriced popcorn, I am vicariously enraptured by the haunting power of this love match. Not being privy to such exaltations, this is my second foray into the cushioned comfort of Cineplex anonymity. My first nervous solo cinematic outing was to Io Sono Il Amore…I am Love. But now I am a pro at this…experiencing the raptures of love on the silver screen as a voyeur…on the periphery…as a non-participant.

With spring in the air and the upcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate on our radar, one can’t help but muse about the elixir of love. It beats thinking about yet another federal election.

And that operatic chestnut La Traviata with its ill-fated heroine, Violetta, is back in town advertised as “true love…too late”.

Which begs the question: Is it too late to experience true love the second time around?

Zoomers come with a lot of history and emotional baggage. Battle scars, empty bank accounts and unresolved issues. As we’re “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places”, our search for companionship and conjugal bliss has taken us far from the bars and discos of our youth. Instead we are searching for love online in a minefield of dating sites which promise a perfect match or harmony for those brave enough to go fishing.

Of course, there are still those of us who prefer the old-fashioned way of meeting someone in person by chance or by introduction but the quest still has the same intent…to find a soul mate who can see beyond the wrinkles and age spots. If true love is indeed possible in our autumn years, let’s ask some Zoomers in the know.

Peter and his wife Carolyn, who he refers to as “my intelligent arm candy” weren’t looking for love but “love found us.” Referring to Peter Legge’s book The Runway of Life, Peter reminds us that he and his wife use the remainder of life’s runway to the best advantage and “make every minute count and only deal with what we’ve got in front of us.” Sprinkled with respect, support and compromise, this is the essence of their mutual love.

Ramona chose to be alone and was happy with her life. And then she met someone who “makes me feel so loved which I have never experienced before. Even though I have had other significant relationships where I was told I was loved, I did not feel that love.” Well there you have it…it’s never too late. Zoomer love is possible.